I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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