thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
