Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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