I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
