i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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