whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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