Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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