peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
