is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
