So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You smell like stripper and shame
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
