I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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