i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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