Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
