I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
