I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.