Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?

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(+61): View more from Australia

This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade

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(207): View more from Maine

I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(502): View more from Kentucky

I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask

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(614): View more from Ohio

I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar

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(573): View more from Missouri

This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket

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(602): View more from Arizona

I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.

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