Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.

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  (703): worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma. http://tfl.nu/3aau
  Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (3771)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  shes about as inviting as chlamydia

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  (778): shes about as inviting as chlamydia http://tfl.nu/iikb
  Replies (2) Good night (688) Bad night (3324)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.

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  (443): Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain. (1-443): Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one. http://tfl.nu/00ky
  Replies (38) Good night (3924) Bad night (1563)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?

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  (914): explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts? http://tfl.nu/duu8
  Replies (15) Good night (4001) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?

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  (585): i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair? http://tfl.nu/daid
  Replies (32) Good night (10893) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?

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  (814): So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/yeac
  Replies (10) Good night (3493) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.

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  (315): 3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn. http://tfl.nu/iak3
  Replies (8) Good night (2121) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"

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  (+61): It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?" http://tfl.nu/jtkv
  Replies (7) Good night (890) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!

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  (317): Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour! http://tfl.nu/4bwc
  Replies (13) Good night (1482) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"

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  (651): I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you" http://tfl.nu/co0c
  Replies (3) Good night (1248) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.

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  (330): He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life. http://tfl.nu/pmkh
  Replies (5) Good night (1195) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.

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  (513): I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen. http://tfl.nu/m4h2
  Replies (9) Good night (1573) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.

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  (302): As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial. http://tfl.nu/egux
  Replies (4) Good night (1701) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.

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  (613): hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me. http://tfl.nu/dgyw
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"

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  (845): should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me" http://tfl.nu/qqbr
  Replies (9) Good night (728) Bad night (326)

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