yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course