Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.

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(401): Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon. http://tfl.nu/lhyu

Replies (55) Good night (3813) Bad night (784)
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(310): View more from California

Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.

(310): View more from California

I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.

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(310): Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail. (310): I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore. http://tfl.nu/tf34

Replies (11) Good night (3700) Bad night (1004)
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(315): View more from New York

I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"

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(315): I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry" http://tfl.nu/cwet

Replies (39) Good night (7859) Bad night (675)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!

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(610): Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me! http://tfl.nu/2u3z

Replies (15) Good night (4823) Bad night (1022)
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(301): View more from Maryland

We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.

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(301): We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else. http://tfl.nu/5mkn

Replies (5) Good night (4048) Bad night (1363)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint

(203): View more from Connecticut

i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you

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(203): we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint (203): i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you http://tfl.nu/509n

Replies (10) Good night (5353) Bad night (1243)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.

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(617): gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist. http://tfl.nu/2uj6

Replies (35) Good night (1302) Bad night (4494)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.

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(202): Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood. http://tfl.nu/hors

Replies (2) Good night (2010) Bad night (759)
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(831): View more from California

I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.

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(831): I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET. http://tfl.nu/2kw0

Replies (13) Good night (2531) Bad night (846)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Faces of meth called, they want their look back.

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(703): Faces of meth called, they want their look back. http://tfl.nu/3q15

Replies (7) Good night (753) Bad night (1426)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.

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(704): he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears. http://tfl.nu/5pre

Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (1065)
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(305): View more from Florida

I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.

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(305): I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again. http://tfl.nu/m5jy

Replies (5) Good night (1937) Bad night (615)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.

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(256): I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about. http://tfl.nu/f4uq

Replies (2) Good night (717) Bad night (361)
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(323): View more from California

I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?

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(323): I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today? http://tfl.nu/ws7y

Replies (2) Good night (595) Bad night (276)
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(415): View more from California

You've created a tinder dominating monster.

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(415): You've created a tinder dominating monster. http://tfl.nu/1rhe

Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (249)

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