morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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