I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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