coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
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i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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