But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
