i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
