Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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