I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
