need another drink. this is the easiest way
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
