Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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