Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
