The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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