I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
