We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
