yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You made out with two different species that night
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
