I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
