In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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