too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
