? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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