she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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