remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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