There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
