At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
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He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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