OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
