oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
