Heybabeimwearingurpanties
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
