found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
