Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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