Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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