It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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