So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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