weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
