i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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