I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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