In America we eat man semen.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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