I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Randomize
