How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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