They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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