Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
