I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
