she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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