True but thats because hes a fetus.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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