So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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