while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
