i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
