Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
