Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
After last night, I could never be a politician.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
