handjob tips. give me some.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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